Hard time.

I've been having a hard time so I tell myself, to make myself feel better, "I have it so good compared to some", and that fact really brings no comfort. In fact, it always makes me feel worse.

Why?

—Not Helping

Dear Not Helping,

Forcing yourself to say, “I have it good” is a way of denying the pain you feel. It's spiritual-religious masochism.

Let me explain it this way... If you are in pain and I tell you that you aren’t in pain, that wouldn’t help.

So, if you are having a hard time, why would you tell yourself that you have to change your attitude?

If it brings you any comfort at all, you are in very good company. Many people do this.

With love,

R.Abbi

Heaven on my mind

My non-Jewish sister-in-law asked me about Jews' notion of Heaven and Hell... I realize that's a big question, but if you have a "short answer", I'd be grateful.

— Heaven-on-my-mind.

Dear Heaven-on-my-mind,

Here's a story:

Before a sermon that I gave at a Los Angeles congregation, I asked those in attendance, "By a show of hands, how many of you believe in life-after death?" and about 1/3 of the people raised their hands. I continued, "By a show of hands, how many of you don't believe in life-after death?" and about 1/3 of the people raised their hands. And then I said, "By a show of hands, how many of you aren't certain?" and about 1/3 of the people raised their hands.

"This," I exclaimed, "is exactly why it's impossible for me to answer simple questions like, what do Jews believe about life-after death!"

The same goes for your question.

There is no singular Jewish notion of heaven and hell.

Here is a link to a Jewish web-site that unequivocally states that that Jews do believe in Heaven and Hell. And, one can find web-sites that state otherwise.

The Hebrew Bible doesn't say much about life after death and that which it does say isn't very clear. On the other hand, the writings of Immanuel, the son of Solomon of Rome (c.1261–c.1328), like the writings of Dante, give a pretty impressive tour of hell.

Since the enlightenment, many Jews have tried to expunge archaic non-rational "superstitions" from their philosophy and theology... accordingly, the word on the street is that Jews don't believe in heaven and hell.

So much for the short answer.
(Or, giving you any answer at all.)

With love,

R.Abbi

Searching

Dear R. Abbi,

I saw you on Between the Lines with Barry Kibrick and found you very interesting.

I want to do something for the greater good, can you help me find my way?

To be honest, I'm not even sure what that means — but I do know that I want to be able to help others in a meaningful way.

I'm an artist and although some people like my work and are sometimes moved, I'm not sure that qualifies as a worthwhile legacy for my life here on earth.

Where do I begin?

Sincerely,

Searching.

---

Dear Searching,

Thank you for your e-mail.

To quote Maria from The Sound of Music, “Let’s start from the very beginning. That’s a very good place to start.”

I think you should begin right where you are.

But it’s an uncomfortable place to be, isn’t it?

Would that you had a lofty goal . . . how much easier that would be!

For example, if you knew that by 2010 you wanted to have your art in five prominent galleries with proceeds from the sales raising $500,000 for AIDS awareness . . . well, then you would have a compass bearing, an orientation, and a specific goal to work toward.

However, you don’t have your direction yet and that’s what is uncomfortable.

So, another way answer to your question is that you should start by being uncomfortable.

I wish I could be the guy to give you all the answers. But, as you may have guessed, you are the only one who has the answers. Rest assured, it’s completely appropriate that you don’t know them yet.

After all, you’re just beginning to form the questions!

The following is a poem by Rainer Maria Rilke:

Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.

I suggest the following prescriptive exercise, if you’d like to work on it. Try writing out the words of the above poem once in the morning and once in the evening every day for the next week. (And if you want, check back in and tell me how it goes.)

Of course, should you find a path that works better for you — like making a sculptural interpretation, dancing it out, or painting it — that works too . . .

Be the artist that you are called to be.

With love,

R. Abbi.