Hard time.

I've been having a hard time so I tell myself, to make myself feel better, "I have it so good compared to some", and that fact really brings no comfort. In fact, it always makes me feel worse.

Why?

—Not Helping

Dear Not Helping,

Forcing yourself to say, “I have it good” is a way of denying the pain you feel. It's spiritual-religious masochism.

Let me explain it this way... If you are in pain and I tell you that you aren’t in pain, that wouldn’t help.

So, if you are having a hard time, why would you tell yourself that you have to change your attitude?

If it brings you any comfort at all, you are in very good company. Many people do this.

With love,

R.Abbi

Hoosgawdennewhey

Dear R.Abbi,

I see that some people write G-d instead of God. Why?

-Hoosgawdennewhey.

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Dear Hoosgawdennewhey -

As far as I know, this tradition is rooted in the ancient Hebrew Torah scrolls where in lieu of writing out God's name, placeholder letters were used instead. The same is done in English.

Let's look at two possible explanations given for why this was done in ancient days:

1) Were someone to "know" God's true name, they would have dominion over God. So, a placeholder was used instead.

2) It was considered disrespectful to destroy anything with God's name written on it. So again, a placeholder was used instead.

Personally, I think that worrying about how we write God's name is goofy — it's like debating the exact grit of the sand on the beach and missing the splendor of the sunset.

What we call God doesn't matter. How we write the letters we use as the placeholder for God's name doesn't matter.

What matters is that we are in a real relationship with God.

With love,

-R.Abbi

What does the word "Torah" mean?

Dear R.Abbi,

Would you please tell me what people mean when they use the word "Torah"? I've heard it explained differently by different people.

-- Curious about Torah

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Dear Curious about Torah,

You've got reason to be a bit confused — Torah can means a lot of different things . . . and not just because every Jew has a different opinion on the subject.

I'm going to give a full answer.

Torah is kind of like earth. You know how “earth” refers to the planet we are on as well as the stuff that the whole planet is made of? Well, similarly, Torah refers to a whole and the many parts of that whole.

Let's start small and get bigger.

There's the scroll with the five books of Moses, that's the Torah. (And, whether Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy are in one book or in their easily recognizable scroll formats, these books in this order is still referred to as the Torah.)

Where it gets tricky is when the Torah-scroll Torah is contained in the larger work. All the stuff in the Bible — the first five books just mentioned and all the rest of the books of the Hebrew Bible — comprise what is sometimes referred to as 'the written Torah.'

And then, there is what is referred to as the 'oral Torah' which contains all the canonical Jewish texts written down after 'the written Torah' was recorded. (So, why is it called "oral" if it was written down? Because — and go with me on this one — it is taught that Moses received this stuff too, but it was not written down until later. God told all of it — written Torah and oral Torah — to Moses, Moses told it to Joshua and it got relayed to the elders from generation to generation. The written Torah was written down and the oral Torah was just told from elder to elder until people were afraid that this "oral" Torah would be lost or corrupted, so they wrote it down too.) The "Oral Torah" contains the Talmud, which was recorded between 200 and 500 CE.

But the Oral Torah contains more that that, too! Oral Torah also includes the law codes of the 1100's, the 1400's, and today's laws (like whether or not it's kosher to have an internet server work on the Sabbath).

And finally, let's widen the lens one more time: Torah means learning.

So, whether you believe that the entirety of the Torah was given to Moses, whether there was a Moses, whether there was a God, whether there is a God, whether your head is spinning with how much there is to know, whether or not you know anything . . . TORAH is about learning.

Keep on learning,

-R.Abbi

Death & Suffering.

Dear R. Abbi,

In my work with hospice, I often wonder why people have to endure pain and suffering on their deathbed. Coming from an Irish Catholic background, I still today get the message that suffering and pain is the only way to absolve oneself of the "original sin" bestowed upon us. Despite much work on my part to dispel this myth, when I am present for a particularly diffcult death, I go right back to that premise. I really need to break this pattern. Any suggestions?

- Euthanatos

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Dear Euthanatos -

Augustine of Hippo is widely attributed with coining the notion of “original sin.” My read on the genesis story (and I would say that of most modern scholars) does not concur with the horrific theology that stems from this line of thinking — that God is cruel and un-just.

I would ask you to instead of wondering what St. Augustine might think, to consider instead, “What Would Jesus Do?”

And, I know the answer to that.

It’s one you know too: have compassion for the person who is dying and lovingly witness to them their pain. And, equally importantly, have compassion and love for yourself.

You are doing holy work.

With love,

R.Abbi.

NT2Jew

Dear R. Abbi -

How much does it bother you when Christians quote the New Testament to you? We've seen Jews in conversations when this happens explain they don't adhere to the New Testament and don't find it authoritative anymore than most Christians look to the Apocrypha for guidance. But we have Jewish friends who remind us that the majority of the NT (New Testament) is quoting the Torah (Old Testament) anyway so they don't get too annoyed -- except for that Yoshea-is-the-Messiah thing. What say you?

-- NT2JEW

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Dear NT2Jew,

What a wonderful question.

Let me answer it with another question, "Why should I be offended or bothered?"

I think we as religious people need to keep our eyes on the prize, so to speak.

Differences in what we call our Holy Books (whether you call it "The Gospel," "The Talmud," or "The Qur’an") or what words are contained in each don't really matter when you keep your focus on the greater goal: to live a life in concert with (the) God (of our understanding).

Us and them is a wonderful way to establish a false sense of self. Moreover, it separates us from each other. The goal, when you really think about it, isn't to be a part from, it's being a part of.

With regard to that "Yoshea-is-the-Messiah thing," I know of Christians who don't believe this and Jews who do. To me, it's about the goal . . . love, feeling satisfied, peace-filled, etc.

With eyes on the prize –

R. Abbi